My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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