is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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