I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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