what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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