3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
