We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
