Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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