so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
