Someone shit on the floor
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize