went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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