First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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