even my farts smell like vagina
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
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