My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
