very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
