is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
