I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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