it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
