he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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