He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
