In the future we'll all be gay
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
