They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize