I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
