he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize