Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
