Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
