my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
