I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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