it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
