i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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