That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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