Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
