lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
