Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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