pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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