I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
