I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
