FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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