you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
