you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
