I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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