just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
