fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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