This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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