Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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