3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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