you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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