the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
