have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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