apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
