So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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