I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
