i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
