what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
