Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
