It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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