So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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