will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
