I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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