end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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