I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
