Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
