His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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