At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
