So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
